Yesterday we spent the day at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital having tests done on Cora. She had an ultrasound and a VCUG (Voiding Cysto-Urethogram) which basically involved a catheter, dye, tons of x-rays, and lots and lots of tears. It's a very invasive, frightening test for a little person, and Cora had it done on no sleep, right in the middle of naptime (not my choice).
We found out that Cora has something called VUR (vesicoureteral reflux), which is a pediatric condition that allows urine to flow backwards from the bladder to the kidneys. If untreated, this condition can cause kidney infections, kidney damage, scarring, high blood pressure, and other issues. Fortunately, we should be able to keep problems at bay with a daily low-dose antibiotic and monitoring by a urologist until she outgrows the condition. If you want a simple, easy-to-understand explanation of VUR, check this website.
This diagnosis comes on the heels of a lot of other medical stuff we've had going on. Cora has been sick on and off for about a month (related to the VUR), and before that, if you remember, I hurt my back and had to have x-rays and chiropractic care. To add to the fun, Jim had to have a root canal and a crown a few weeks ago, to the tune of $2000.
We haven't had too many breaks in these last twenty-one months and neither has our bank account. Colic, reflux, milk protein problems, ear infections, tubes, VUR... It is all starting to take its toll. I'm tired and I'm discouraged. I'm concerned about money and how we will get through any more emergencies.
Each day I find myself scheming for ways I can make a few dollars. I've looked into tutoring and selling craft items as well as a few other things, but none of them seem right. Deep in my heart I know that my attempts to find a financial solution are really just me not trusting God. I truly, truly believe that I need to focus on my family this fall. We are on the brink of so many changes: kindergarten, seminary, women's ministry, and several other new things that are new to our plates. And every money-making thing I think of feels like more of a distraction than a blessing. Unless I can find a job I love that pays me to work only two days a week while Cora is at Mother's Day Out (also a potentially new thing this fall) and doesn't require extra time on the side, I can't see how the income could be less than a hindrance.
And still I fear.
Last night I led a Bible study on the parable of the sower from Matthew 13, Mark 4, and Luke 8. This is one of Jesus' more well-known parables about the seed being scattered on different types of soil. At the end of his explanation of the parable, Jesus says this:
"But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop." Luke 8:15
I LOVE that when I looked up verses yesterday for my own life (unrelated to my preparations for the Bible study), I found Jeremiah 17: 7 and 8:
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
I just don't think these connected verses are a coincidence. I can't claim to be good soil and have God in charge of my life if I'm not bearing fruit. And I can't bear fruit if I'm afraid and trying to control everything. So even though I don't know where our money will come from, I will try to stop worrying and trust that God will provide. (Matthew 6:25 - 33)
Even though I don't know what will happen with Cora's health and kidneys, I will believe that God has a plan for her life and wants to prosper her and not harm her. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Even though I'm intimidated by this huge time of change our family has ahead of us, I will believe that God is leading our family and will honor our desire to serve Him. (Matthew 6:33)
I'm eager to produce good fruit, but some days I just crave chocolate.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
A Busy 4th of July Weekend
Independence Day weekend was super busy in our house! Here is how we spent our weekend:
Saturday:
Our friends Josh and Cat came over to help make placemat purses for the girls we sponsor. We sponsor a little girl named Mayerli who shares Cora's birthdate, and Josh and Cat sponsor six girls, five of whom can receive small gifts through the mail.
I loved the idea of making and personalizing a bag because it's useful for any age, and a placemat purse seemed like a great option because it's so easy and inexpensive. Plus, this size bag would actually fit in the envelopes allowed by World Vision.
If you've never made (or heard of) a placemat purse, just google it to find plenty of online tutorials and videos. Basically, you take a placemat, fold it in half, stitch up the sides, make a few more stitches to form the bottom of the purse, and add some ribbon handles. It is seriously easy for anyone who can sew a straight line on a sewing machine.
Everyone got in on the action, and it was especially fun watching Jim teach Josh how to iron. :-)
When the bags were stitched together, we used freezer paper stencils and fabric paint to add the girls' names.
Partway through the morning, Jim received an awesome - but crazy - text message:
He recently applied to take some online classes through Dallas Theological Seminary, and this is how he found out he was accepted!! Have times changed, or what? Anyway, he registers this week and starts his first class at the end of August. He is hoping to get a Masters in Christian Education. It will probably take around six years to finish the program because he is only going to take a few classes at a time, but he does hope to eventually finish. Exciting stuff!
Anyway, back to the bags.
Brennan worked on drawing pictures for the kids while I wrote letters and everyone else finished up the bags. In the end, I think they came out super cute.
One of Josh and Cat's bags was still drying, so they just have four here to show off. I think the kids will just love them! And they only cost us about $4.50 each! Rock on!
Sunday:
We joined our friends, the McGregors, at the splash pad in nearby Smyrna. The kids played in the water, and when everyone was worn out, we had a picnic dinner in a beautiful area with perfect weather.
I realized when we got home on Sunday night that Cora is starting to become like one of the "big" kids. She went on a little walk with Alana, Brennan, and me and kept up with all of us, she sat at the picnic table and ate her dinner, and she made her needs known throughout the day. Where has time gone?
Monday:
We had a lazy day, cooked hot dogs and brats on the grill, and at night Brennan and I drove over to the nearby elementary school to watch the local fireworks. They didn't start until 9:30 PM, and fifteen minutes into the show, Brennan fell asleep. He startled awake at one point and begged me to take him home. I watched the finale through my rearview mirror and had him in bed, sound asleep, while most people were probably fighting to get out of the parking lot.
Since I have no good pictures to share from Monday, I'll show a few pictures of the kids dressed for church on Sunday.
I bought their outfits last year at after-holiday sales, and it was so fun to see them on! Someday I'll probably get most of my money back as I consign them. It will be hard to part with this dress, though. It's just so sweet!
I hope you had a great Independence Day! What did you do to keep busy?
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thoughts on Parenting
When I was growing up, my mom had a book called "Parenting Isn't for Cowards" on the bookshelf in our family room. As a teenager I looked at that book and thought about how she had to be courageous to stand her ground with me.
I didn't understand the half of it.
Parenting is the hardest thing in the whole. wide. world. There are days I cry from the weight of it all. The thing about parenting is, no matter how hard we try, we can't get it just right. We mess up. We hurt our kids. We do things that we know are wrong. We do things we don't know are wrong.
And all of that is so difficult for this perfectionist to accept.
I've got a degree in education, and I consider myself an expert in that department. I know that children need to be exposed to a certain number of books before they become readers, and I know the importance of recognizing and capitalizing on teachable moments.
I'm also a research fanatic, so I know all kinds of things about child development. I know that we need to sit at the table with our children when they eat meals so we can teach them that food is a social experience. I know that kids need a certain number of fruits and vegetables and whole grains daily. I know that "screen time" has a ton of detrimental effects. But what I do is a different story.
So...
When I am in a hurry and my kids are eating alone while I fix my hair, I feel guilty.
When my kids reject all fruits and vegetables and only want goldfish and bread products, I feel guilty.
When I choose to let the kids watch television (after having let them already watch a reasonable amount that morning) just so I can have a conversation with another adult, I feel guilty.
I know that feeling guilty is stupid. I know that everything is about balance and doing your best and maintaining your sanity, but in my heart, I just see failure when I do the opposite of what I know. I want to give my kids my very, very best, and anything less hurts. Even though letting them watch television so I can be a mentally healthy mom is sometimes the best choice, I just see research and statistics and scold myself. Even though I sit with my children for most of their meals, I see the times that I'm off working on my computer or folding laundry while they eat alone, and I beat myself up.
And don't get me started on my fear of judgment.
I'll never forget when Brennan was two years old and we went on a play date with friends. I brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat, which was one of the only things he would eat those days, and I had stopped and bought a small bag of Cheetos to share with him, which was a really big deal for our special trip to the park. When we sat down to eat with the other kids, and they proceeded to take out chick peas, quinoa, black beans, cooked carrots, and other amazingly healthy foods, my heart sank. Then, when the moms looked over at Brennan's food, I wanted to crawl under the table. Brennan would never eat any of those foods the other kids had. He still won't. He would honestly go hungry and have his blood sugar drop and have a total, complete meltdown before he would even try any of those foods. I know from experience. That doesn't mean I give him Cheetos all the time. I try to give him healthy things he will eat (which are so limited), and constantly encourage him (usually unsuccessfully) to try new things.
Other, well-meaning moms tell me to just give him what we are having and let him go hungry. My pediatrician disagrees. And all of that is beside the point. I'm doing my best and making intentional choices for my kids. And I still feel like a failure. I put that pressure on myself.
I've been wondering whether I make other moms feel that same sense of failure. I am a research junky, so I have lots of facts to share. I am a perfectionist, so I know lots of best practices. But at the end of the day, I'm just another parent who messes up and falls short. When friends ask me for advice, I tell them what works for me or what I have learned, which may make me sound like I know it all. But I so don't. I know nothing.
Except grace.
Last week I shared with Jim that I needed to give Brennan more grace to be five years old and stop expecting perfection from him (sense a theme, here?). I decided to write the word "GRACE" on our chalkboard to remind me to give him a break. The irony is, the word has been up there more for me than for him. Every time I feel like a failure, a hypocrite, or a crummy mom, I see that word and I'm reminded that God knows my heart and will make my children who HE wants them to be. I'm reminded that He doesn't expect me to be perfect and actually gave my children to me knowing that I wouldn't be perfect. He will cover all of my sins and imperfections.
I still hate that there will be consequences to my failures because I am human and there is sin in this world. I can't go back and change Adam and Eve's decisions, and it stinks because I love my kids. I love them so much it hurts, and I don't want it to be so tough.
But I guess that's sort of how God feels about us. It's a good thing He's our heavenly father. He is perfect. He isn't a coward. The buck stops somewhere and there is a perfect standard. Thank goodness my kids can grow up and learn about being a perfect parent from someone.
I didn't understand the half of it.
Parenting is the hardest thing in the whole. wide. world. There are days I cry from the weight of it all. The thing about parenting is, no matter how hard we try, we can't get it just right. We mess up. We hurt our kids. We do things that we know are wrong. We do things we don't know are wrong.
And all of that is so difficult for this perfectionist to accept.
I've got a degree in education, and I consider myself an expert in that department. I know that children need to be exposed to a certain number of books before they become readers, and I know the importance of recognizing and capitalizing on teachable moments.
I'm also a research fanatic, so I know all kinds of things about child development. I know that we need to sit at the table with our children when they eat meals so we can teach them that food is a social experience. I know that kids need a certain number of fruits and vegetables and whole grains daily. I know that "screen time" has a ton of detrimental effects. But what I do is a different story.
So...
When I am in a hurry and my kids are eating alone while I fix my hair, I feel guilty.
When my kids reject all fruits and vegetables and only want goldfish and bread products, I feel guilty.
When I choose to let the kids watch television (after having let them already watch a reasonable amount that morning) just so I can have a conversation with another adult, I feel guilty.
I know that feeling guilty is stupid. I know that everything is about balance and doing your best and maintaining your sanity, but in my heart, I just see failure when I do the opposite of what I know. I want to give my kids my very, very best, and anything less hurts. Even though letting them watch television so I can be a mentally healthy mom is sometimes the best choice, I just see research and statistics and scold myself. Even though I sit with my children for most of their meals, I see the times that I'm off working on my computer or folding laundry while they eat alone, and I beat myself up.
And don't get me started on my fear of judgment.
I'll never forget when Brennan was two years old and we went on a play date with friends. I brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat, which was one of the only things he would eat those days, and I had stopped and bought a small bag of Cheetos to share with him, which was a really big deal for our special trip to the park. When we sat down to eat with the other kids, and they proceeded to take out chick peas, quinoa, black beans, cooked carrots, and other amazingly healthy foods, my heart sank. Then, when the moms looked over at Brennan's food, I wanted to crawl under the table. Brennan would never eat any of those foods the other kids had. He still won't. He would honestly go hungry and have his blood sugar drop and have a total, complete meltdown before he would even try any of those foods. I know from experience. That doesn't mean I give him Cheetos all the time. I try to give him healthy things he will eat (which are so limited), and constantly encourage him (usually unsuccessfully) to try new things.
Other, well-meaning moms tell me to just give him what we are having and let him go hungry. My pediatrician disagrees. And all of that is beside the point. I'm doing my best and making intentional choices for my kids. And I still feel like a failure. I put that pressure on myself.
I've been wondering whether I make other moms feel that same sense of failure. I am a research junky, so I have lots of facts to share. I am a perfectionist, so I know lots of best practices. But at the end of the day, I'm just another parent who messes up and falls short. When friends ask me for advice, I tell them what works for me or what I have learned, which may make me sound like I know it all. But I so don't. I know nothing.
Except grace.
Last week I shared with Jim that I needed to give Brennan more grace to be five years old and stop expecting perfection from him (sense a theme, here?). I decided to write the word "GRACE" on our chalkboard to remind me to give him a break. The irony is, the word has been up there more for me than for him. Every time I feel like a failure, a hypocrite, or a crummy mom, I see that word and I'm reminded that God knows my heart and will make my children who HE wants them to be. I'm reminded that He doesn't expect me to be perfect and actually gave my children to me knowing that I wouldn't be perfect. He will cover all of my sins and imperfections.
I still hate that there will be consequences to my failures because I am human and there is sin in this world. I can't go back and change Adam and Eve's decisions, and it stinks because I love my kids. I love them so much it hurts, and I don't want it to be so tough.
But I guess that's sort of how God feels about us. It's a good thing He's our heavenly father. He is perfect. He isn't a coward. The buck stops somewhere and there is a perfect standard. Thank goodness my kids can grow up and learn about being a perfect parent from someone.
Monday, June 27, 2011
A Few Funny Conversations
Today, I told Brennan to hold still at lunch because he had something on his mouth. He was very upset with me for messing with him, and I said, "Brennan, there was a hair on your lip!" He said, "I felt it and I liked it there!" Yeah, right. This from my OCD child.
On Friday night we went to see Cars 2. All of Brennan's play the next day was about secret agents and super spies. At one point he asked, "Why is a super spy called a super spy?" My response was, "Hmmm... I don't know." Jim's response of course was "Well, I'm not sure they were ever actually called super spies in the movie" Any wonder why Brennan is the way he is?
On Saturday morning, Cora decided she wanted to get dressed and took off her jammies. I had to iron her shirt (we were going to a birthday party), and while I was ironing, I heard her scream from Brennan's room. Brennan came running and said, "Mommy, the reason you heard a scream is because I do NOT want a naked girl in my room, and I was trying to get her out!" Boy, will he regret saying that some day.
On Friday night we went to see Cars 2. All of Brennan's play the next day was about secret agents and super spies. At one point he asked, "Why is a super spy called a super spy?" My response was, "Hmmm... I don't know." Jim's response of course was "Well, I'm not sure they were ever actually called super spies in the movie" Any wonder why Brennan is the way he is?
On Saturday morning, Cora decided she wanted to get dressed and took off her jammies. I had to iron her shirt (we were going to a birthday party), and while I was ironing, I heard her scream from Brennan's room. Brennan came running and said, "Mommy, the reason you heard a scream is because I do NOT want a naked girl in my room, and I was trying to get her out!" Boy, will he regret saying that some day.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Shredded Tires Make My House Look Better
We have spent the past two weekends sprucing up the outside of our house. Well, I should clarify: Jim has spent the last two weekends sprucing up the front of the house. I have spent the past two weekends entertaining our children. :-)
It isn't very often that I approach our house from the front, but a few weeks ago I walked to a neighbor's house to deliver something, and when I walked back home I cut through the yard and looked at this:
Nice, huh? And really, this picture is better than it had been because we just replaced those bushes about a month or two ago. The other ones were already dead and hadn't survived their first year here.
We decided it was finally time to put down some mulch and increase our curb appeal. Plus, we didn't want to fork over more money to replace more bushes just because they couldn't stay hydrated. So, we decided to go with rubber mulch. Even though it is more expensive upfront, it lasts a ton longer and we won't have to replace it every few years.
We each made a few trips to Sam's Club to pick up bags of mulch and cart them home in our little Hondas. (You wouldn't believe me if I told you the things we have fit in those little cars over the years!)
In between storm threats, we got started...
Anyway, here is the result of all the time and money.
Instead of this...
Jim claims that other than needing to buy a few bags here and there to fill in gaps, we shouldn't need to replace this stuff for a decade. Sounds good to me!!
Check out how the house has changed in less than one year:
 |
| July 3rd, 2010 |
 |
| June 19, 2011 |
Have you been busy sprucing up your home lately?
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Father's Day, Silhouette Style
I wish I had a bunch of adorable pictures of my husband and my precious children on Father's Day. But I don't. Jim spend the day spreading mulch and mowing the lawn and grilling burgers – all his choice – and he was truly a hot mess. I suppose I could have taken a picture before or after church, but I didn't realize it was my only opportunity.
So instead of sweet family photos, I'll share all of this year's Father's Day crafts.
First up, the gifts we made for Jim's dad...
Jim (Jim's dad, Jim, aka James Riggs III) is the sports editor for our local paper where we grew up. As a part of his Father's Day gift, I had my mother-in-law send me clippings from a few weeks of the sports section of the paper. I used Jim's editorials, as well as a few other articles, as a backdrop for a piece of personalized art! If you look closely, you can see his name in an article above the steam on the train:
Jim loves model trains, so he is able to hang this in or near the entrance to his "train room" at home.
So, I shouldn't admit this, but the whole gift cost $5. I got the frame for $4 at the local dollar store, and the train image cost me a dollar in the Silhouette store. (I love that you can buy what you want from the Silhouette store for $1 per item instead of buying $80 cartridges like you have to do with other craft cutters!)
Jim's dad's other gift is so stinkin' amazing, in my opinion. (I don't think I did anything amazing; I just think my Silhouette can do amazing things!) After I saw a the idea on the Silhouette blog, I decided this was a perfect gift for Jim's dad who is an AVID golfer:
For my own Jim's Father's Day gift, we did two things. The first didn't involve the Silhouette at all.
My Jim always needs binder clips, so we bought him a box, and Brennan decorated papers that we glued to the clips.
Simple, cute, and very appropriate from a five-year-old.
The second gift was a family gift. I saw the idea here and thought it was perfect for Father's Day! I used colors that go with the play room so we could all enjoy it. (I told Jim that if he wanted it for work, I would make another one.)
I just traced our hands on cardstock and cut them out. For our name and the date, I used brown vinyl in my Silhouette.
Not only was this gift sweet, but Jim also learned something new about me. He never knew that I had hurt my finger in the swimming pool when I was young and it has been bent every since. (Isn't it attractive?) It actually isn't that obvious in real life (clearly, if we've been married almost eleven years and he has never noticed).
I hope you all had a great and crafty Father's Day. Unless you hate crafts. Then I hope it was very store-bought . ;-) Either way I hope it was happy!!
So instead of sweet family photos, I'll share all of this year's Father's Day crafts.
First up, the gifts we made for Jim's dad...
Jim (Jim's dad, Jim, aka James Riggs III) is the sports editor for our local paper where we grew up. As a part of his Father's Day gift, I had my mother-in-law send me clippings from a few weeks of the sports section of the paper. I used Jim's editorials, as well as a few other articles, as a backdrop for a piece of personalized art! If you look closely, you can see his name in an article above the steam on the train:
Jim loves model trains, so he is able to hang this in or near the entrance to his "train room" at home.
So, I shouldn't admit this, but the whole gift cost $5. I got the frame for $4 at the local dollar store, and the train image cost me a dollar in the Silhouette store. (I love that you can buy what you want from the Silhouette store for $1 per item instead of buying $80 cartridges like you have to do with other craft cutters!)
Jim's dad's other gift is so stinkin' amazing, in my opinion. (I don't think I did anything amazing; I just think my Silhouette can do amazing things!) After I saw a the idea on the Silhouette blog, I decided this was a perfect gift for Jim's dad who is an AVID golfer:
First, I asked Sharon which golf balls Jim typically uses, and I bought a box of twelve. (This is only one sleeve.) Then, I special ordered Silhouette tattoo paper and tattooed each ball!!
(This is a sample I did on my own Jim's white ball, just to make sure it would work.)
My favorite feature of my Silhouette is the "print and cut" feature. I can print something on my regular printer, put it in my Silhouette, and it recognizes where to cut!!!!!! I mean, SHUT UP!!!!
Isn't this just the craziest thing ever? And it isn't hard to figure out how to do it! It's like rocket science in the way it works, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to do it!!!
I applied the tattoos to the balls just the same way you apply them to skin: with water and a washcloth. After the balls were tattooed, I sprayed them ever-so-lightly with a polyurethane spray that I already had, and it kept the tattoo from coming off with water. Now early morning dew won't wash the name off!
My Jim always needs binder clips, so we bought him a box, and Brennan decorated papers that we glued to the clips.
Simple, cute, and very appropriate from a five-year-old.
I just traced our hands on cardstock and cut them out. For our name and the date, I used brown vinyl in my Silhouette.
Not only was this gift sweet, but Jim also learned something new about me. He never knew that I had hurt my finger in the swimming pool when I was young and it has been bent every since. (Isn't it attractive?) It actually isn't that obvious in real life (clearly, if we've been married almost eleven years and he has never noticed).
I hope you all had a great and crafty Father's Day. Unless you hate crafts. Then I hope it was very store-bought . ;-) Either way I hope it was happy!!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Start Spreading the News...
Last week we took a trip to New York City.
Okay, not really... but we pretended to, along with a hundred other local kids!
Last week was Vacation Bible School, and our theme was New York City.
I volunteered to head up crafts to kids age 4 - 5th grade, and it was very rewarding.
The work really started a few months ago as I decided on the crafts and made lists of all of our supplies.
Then, the week before VBS, a group of awesome women from my church got together and helped prep the crafts for a few hours.
I cannot imagine having done it without them. I would have been cutting skylines for two weeks and seeing foam stickers in my sleep!
At VBS, the kids made skylines...
... and Father's Day cards...
... and cloth napkins, among other things.
The napkins were my favorite craft. We gave each child a cloth napkin and fabric markers to decorate napkins for local Meals on Wheels recipients.
I wasn't sure how the kids would do with such an open-ended craft. I worried that maybe they'd color two or three quick things and quit, but they didn't. All of the kids took the whole craft time on Thursday to work on their napkin, and many of them spent part or all of their craft time on Friday finishing. They really put their hearts into it!
I know those people will be blessed by the kids' labors of love.
I pray that the kids were equally blessed by their time at VBS and that the Holy Spirit will be at work on each of their precious hearts.
Okay, not really... but we pretended to, along with a hundred other local kids!
Last week was Vacation Bible School, and our theme was New York City.
I volunteered to head up crafts to kids age 4 - 5th grade, and it was very rewarding.
The work really started a few months ago as I decided on the crafts and made lists of all of our supplies.
I cannot imagine having done it without them. I would have been cutting skylines for two weeks and seeing foam stickers in my sleep!
At VBS, the kids made skylines...
... and Father's Day cards...
The napkins were my favorite craft. We gave each child a cloth napkin and fabric markers to decorate napkins for local Meals on Wheels recipients.
I wasn't sure how the kids would do with such an open-ended craft. I worried that maybe they'd color two or three quick things and quit, but they didn't. All of the kids took the whole craft time on Thursday to work on their napkin, and many of them spent part or all of their craft time on Friday finishing. They really put their hearts into it!
I know those people will be blessed by the kids' labors of love.
I pray that the kids were equally blessed by their time at VBS and that the Holy Spirit will be at work on each of their precious hearts.
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